Blogging has not come to me for a while. Not that I have not thought about things to write, I certainly have, it is more so the sitting and getting it done. I wrapped up the end of the year at school which, in itself, could contain a thousand entries. But now, I mark my first day of summer vacation and I woke up thinking-I love my family.
It truly was remarkable how it happened. I have had so many ups and downs in my marriage this past month, including, but not limited to, my husbands suicide attempt. Depression is a horrible demon! We have had to work through his alcohol abuse, financial concerns, and role in ministry. And once again in the 5 1/2 years of marriage I was faced with the decision of whether or not I wanted to pursue this covenant I made before God and man. IN the end, it winds down to the same thing. I love him. I know that God brought us together for the purpose of providing the world with a glimpse of unconditional love at its best in earthly form, for as I love my husband without constraint, I know I worship a God who loves me so much more! This morning was a beautiful reminder of my husband's love for me. I woke up to his gentle stroke on my cheek as he brushed away my hair thinking I was still sleeping. Truly moments like these are what we cherish when times are rough.
He let me sleep in when our daughter woke up and I climbed out of bed 2 hours later to find him mopping the floors. WOW right? The rest of the day was spent lazily around the house, just us. Hannah went down for a nap while we watched a rented movie, me resting against him with his hands placed over my tummy feeling little Zachary kick throughout the film. Hannah woke up just shy of the film's end and out of nowhere took her first steps...21 in a row!
Strange how your baby transforms into a toddler before your eyes. I have been wanting her to walk since she was 9 months, and now just 13 months old I had tears in my eyes as I witnessed the occasion...not ready to see her grow up. My son is due in 5 weeks and my family completes me.
I look at face book to see status entries of all my friends going on extravagant vacations, or buying the newest trends while we rub pennies together to make ends meet and yet I can sigh with relief in the contentment I have among my own blessings. I live in a beautiful 3 bedroom house for little to nothing thanks to my amazing parents, I just packed a dresser full of clothes for my unborn son, and gave away 6 boxes of clothes from my ever-growing daughter...none of which I personally bought and I sit in my backyard, which thanks to the love, sweat and dedication of my beloved and some of his youth kids, has transformed into a vacation zone of its own and await the bodega camping trip around the corner.
God has provided for all of my needs and most of my wants but has overwhelmed me with his steadfast love in difficult times. I am thankful that I can wake-up this morning in complete peace and relaxation; ready to take on the future with my family, complete and whole through Christ, one step at a time.
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