As I was graciously hiding in my baby's room, rocking my little girl to sleep I couldn't help but think that I could have been sitting on the beach at that very moment. My parents are away on a camping venue at Bodega Bay. The California weather is perfect for a doze on the sand this time of year, but unfortunately I had to make the grown, responsible choice of staying home to a house full of in laws. And by full, I mean busting at the seams. My loving husband more than encouraged me to go without him, but in the end, I value my marriage more than a quick retreat away. Because in the end, although his family stresses me out to no end, it is much worse for him and I need to be there for him as a cool down before the melt down!
You see in this house there are three topics that are bound to cause stress in my marriage, his family is topic #1. The history that associates with it bores on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard for others. It is very difficult for me to put on my smile and loving pretense when I hear my mother in law whine about her sex life with her current boyfriend or see my sister in law with yet another black eye from "falling down" and watch my nephews work their way deeper into the darkness of their adolescence and anger, all the while tolerating the obnoxious laugh of my immature brother in law who refuses to grow up into adulthood. Why they are still present in our lives is nothing far from the patience that rest through Christ alone. I remind myself that WE are to be the examples of Christ's love in their selfish and indulgent lives (try to look past my judgement in that sentence.) Their rude approach is nothing short of their worldly approach and therefore I must forgive on a daily basis, and pray...for more patience.
I remind myself that it is easy to demonstrate patience when things are going my way. The true test of patience comes when my rights are violated or my nerves are tested. Today and any other time these relatives are present, impatience seems like a holy anger. So I must, therefore, continue to remind myself that the Bible praises patience as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) which should be produced for all followers of Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:14). Patience reveals our faith in God’s timing, omnipotence, and love.
Although patience is considered by most to be a passive waiting or gentle tolerance, the Greek words translates “patience” in the New Testament as an active and robust word. In the Bible, patience is persevering towards a goal, enduring trials, or expectantly waiting for a promise to be fulfilled.
Luckily for me, God says that patience does not develop overnight. God’s power and goodness are crucial to the development of patience. Colossi ans 1:11 says that we are strengthened by Him to “great endurance and patience,” while James 1:3-4 encourages us to know that trials are His way of perfecting our patience. Our patience is further developed and strengthened by resting in God’s perfect will and timing, even in the face of evil men [insert a chuckle] who “succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” (Psalm 37:7). Our patience is rewarded in the end “because the Lord's coming is near” (James 5:7-8). “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25).
We see in the Bible many examples of those whose patience characterized their walk with God. James points to the prophets “as an example of patience in the face of suffering” (James 5:10). He also refers to Job, whose perseverance was rewarded by what the “Lord finally brought about” (James 5:11). Abraham, too, waited patiently and “received what was promised” (Hebrews 6:15). Jesus is our model in all things, and He demonstrated patient endurance: “Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).
How can I display the patience that is characteristic of Christ? First, The Bible tells me to rejoice in God’s will (Philippians 4:4; 1 Peter 1:6)and therefore I try to express gratitude for family, my family and how they love me and have shown me the grace of God through their consistent love, support and encouragement. Second, seek His purposes. Sometimes God puts us in difficult situations so that we can be a witness. Other times, He might allow a trial for sanctification of character. Remembering that His purpose is for my growth and His glory will help me in the trial. Lastly, I remember His promises such as Romans 8:28, which tells me that “all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The “all things” include the things (and people) that try my patience.
The natural response is impatience which leads to stress, anger, and frustration. Praise God that, as a Christian, I am no longer in bondage to a “natural response” because I am a new creation in Christ Himself (2 Corinthians 5:17). I have the Lord’s strength to respond with patience and in complete trust in the Father’s power and purpose. “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life” (Romans 2:7).
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