Amish Grace

There is a young girl that I am mentoring who has recently been raped. I witness the pain, and betrayal that she feels when I look into her eyes and although I cannot relate to the hurt she is going through, I can empathize for her as I try to council and support her through the healing process. She has tried to do the right thing and press legal charges, but it is proving to no avail. The investigator actually believed the perpetrator's testimony in saying that she "wanted it." Of course he would say that, in his sick and twisted head he probably thinks it to be somewhat true.

In my head I understand that we make decisions that put us in situations that may compromise our choice but regardless her choice WAS violated. She should have never been in his house, granted. But did she know her friends where going to abandon her there? Did she know that this man would maliciously plot against her innocence? No. Therefore her being there does not insinuate that she "wanted it." Take another example, I was walking my daughter to my parents through the alleyway in the park between our houses. Upon seeing 3 homeless men outside the Alley's entrance, my better judgement told me to go another way, my naivety told me to push through. As I walked through them, one of the men asked me a question, distracting me just long enough for his buddy to grab me and try to pull me aside. By God's luck alone the man was drunk and I was able to push him off before nodding politely and walking quickly away. I actually did not want to offend my attacker giving him the benefit of the doubt. It was only later that I realized how dangerous the situation was. I called my husband a little traumatized by the event-he was furious and later confronted my attacker.

My point. I made a decision against my better judgement. But I was not "asking" to be grabbed. I naively believed I would be able to walk through the pathway as usual. To this day I still have not walked through the park. She, more so than I, have a healing process that she needs to endure-emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Upon praying about how to help her, I continue to feel the pressure to help her forgive her rapist. Sounds odd I know, but hear me out. Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the one to whom we are forgiving. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

I recently watched a movie called Amish Grace. This is an incredible story based on real events where a man upset with God took out his vengeance on an Amish school shooting 10 girls, killing 5. Upon taking the lives of the children, he also, in the end took his own life leaving behind a wife and his three children to pick up the pieces.

The power behind this movie impacts the human conscious beyond words as the Amish community embrace their murderer's family with forgiveness and healing. Upon watching this movie I was deeply moved and challenged. As a Christian would I be able to not only forgive my the actions of someone responsible for a violent crime against me and/or my family but minister to his family in the midst of my mourning and suffering as well? Becoming a mom I scream no way, but understanding the love and compassion that Christ displayed to me I see no other choice.

Therefore I know that in the end, this is the path that my dear young friend, the victim of a terrible crime, must pursue. Because in the end, the forgivness will help her to heal from her scars and wounds and God will ultimatly be the judge of his actions outside of the court's decisions. If we are unforgiving, we may pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Our lives may become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. We can become depressed or anxious. We may feel that our life lacks meaning or purpose, or that we're at odds with our spiritual beliefs. We may lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

God says "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)Forgiveness of others is the ultimate expression towards the love and gratitude that we can express to our heavenly father for the forgivness that he displays towards us everyday. It promotes, healing, happiness and ultimatly repentence.