I would say no one ever told me, but that would be a lie. Parenting teenagers is challenging. Not impossible, not even hard. But challenging.
They go from sweet and curious and innocent to horny independence almost overnight. I would love to say it is different these days but who am I kidding? If I reflect honestly I was just as bad (albeit not as easily caught).
This weekend my eldest bio baby invited her online gamer boyfriend to visit. She had an elaborate fantasy weekend of dates, flowers, gifts etc planned. Of course she lied to us for months how she knew the tool. She said he was the cousin of a friend, my intuition suspected otherwise. So when the plan came to fruition and he was on his way here for a 6-hour road trip to see her, my mom senses went into highest alert and my inner lioness was prepared to kill a pedo. I grilled the truth out of her to confirm my biggest fear-they met online she only knows the supposed truth he told her. I wanted to call it off, I begged her dad to step in and be the bad guy. Her heart broke in front of me and the sucker that I am couldn’t say no. Let this tool break her heart-I concurred, hard lessons! I would be there to comfort her after I commit murder.
We agreed that she could see him on condition that they were never alone! As in dad or I drive, tag along as chaperones on every date and confiscate all communications at night so they could not communicate any secrets rendezvous.
When he arrived in town I delayed their meetup by 2 hours, intentionally making them wait to meet. I lectured my beautifully naive daughter for the 30 min drive to find him. And upon arrival was disappointingly pleased to see this kid was everything she thought he would be-a 6’5” love struck teenager goober. He drove 6 hours with $500 in his pocket to a town he had never been to meet the online girl of his dreams. And she was exactly as she seemed to him.
When we arrived she was nervous. All the what if’s running through her head. I refused to participate in the introductions-“you did this so go do it” he refused to get out of his car, at first.My heart sank for her at first, thinking of the disappoint that can come from rejection. But then, she coaxed him out and I could see he was just a big ball of nerves. My husband called-“how’s it going” “I am witnessing a whole heck of love struck awkwardness!” I replied with an inner chuckle. Relieved and honored to participate, only slightly embarrassed at the big Lecture I had given her on the way over. (Even though I was right-the concept was reckless and potentially dangerous!- But didn’t I meet up with an online boyfriend at 18? Shhhhh-let that secret die!)
Later that evening Hannah confided that the reason he was not getting out of the car was because he told her “he was scared, she was so pretty!”
I learned that he couldn’t check into his hotel room because he was only 17-he had to travel with an adult. Hannah begged me to check in for him. No. I resolved. I’m not signing the liability for a teenage boy that I do not know. I’d give him a tent and a sleeping bag and take him to a near by camp ground. He was ok with that, he was willing to sleep in his car by the river. I called Brandon- “What do I do?” He had me take the kids home, so he could meet him and help me assess next steps.
Hannah in my car and this David kid driving behind me, I looked at Hannah several times saying “my car is faster-if you have word or have weird just vibes say the word and I can ditch him…” She laughed at my “joke“ but who said I was joking? She insisted-he made it home with us-I stated that he probably thought I was taking him into the woods to murder him as he drove the dirt road to our house…poor kid, driving into his doom for a pretty face….
When we got home, he came into a whole house curious to meet the mystery online dude. He played a party came with the family-later Hannah thanked me for that idea-it broke the ice. Then the two of them sat at the table listening to musicals and building Legos while I made dinner. When dinner was made, he politely sat in the leaning room while my tribe fed themselves, I told him to go eat, he smiled, thanked me, grabbed a plate and joined the family at the table.
He stayed until Brandon told him it was time to go, but he could return in the morning. Hannah asked Brandon where he should park to sleep safely? Brandon said “mom and I are getting you a hotel room-but you are paying for it and you better not destroy the room!” “Yes sir, thank you sir” relief spreads across David’s face.
Brandon let Hannah ride in David’s car, I asked her if she knew how to get to the hotel, yes mama, ok you two lead and we will follow-her beaming smile betrayed her heart’s glee!
I rented the room online as we drove back to town, Brandon couldn’t help notice how cautiously David drove with our Hannah in his passenger seat. When we arrived-I went into sign for the room while Brandon continued his interrogation in the parking lot.
They said goodnight in front of us. Brandon kept the extra room key to the hotel -just in case. The kids texted each other the whole way home. Hannah all smiles, told us how silly he was in the car both hands gripping the steering wheel with our eyes on his car, he kept saying “you are real! You are really here! And you are in my car!” He also told us that while he “thinks her parents are scary, they were surprisingly chill.” Good-exactly the vibe I was hoping for!
Young Love is intoxicating. I am so happy for my girl to have found someone who thinks she is worth the risk! The next morning he showed up with her Starbucks order and tulips-he helped me bring in the firewood, and they continued flirting at the dinning room table, picking up where they left off. Whether he is “the one or not is to soon to tell, but he was pleasant and adoring so for now he can stick around”
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