First of all, Let me say, I believe that homosexuality is a sin against God and oneself. But, in a world where self-professing Christians are choosing to co-habitat and engage in premarital sex, who are we to judge? When divorce rates are so high that this country has lost the value and importance of the covenant with which marriage is designed I don't think that this anti-gay claim should be our focus.
You see, to me, marriage is as I stated, a covenant between you, God and your spouse. One that should not be taken lightly. Fortunately for us we live in a society that allows us to choose our spouse, as opposed to having it pre-arranged, but even here I feel as though we miss the boat. You see, in today's culture marriage is surrounded with this false emotion that we call "love." Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my husband, I mean, I truly LOOOOOOVE my husband. But not as I did as a young teenage girl with butterflies in her stomach swept away in the magical romance of courtship. My love for my husband runs deeper than that. My love is not an emotion, because emotions can easily be confused with lust. My love is not an emotion, because emotions are constantly changing. My love is an action. My love is a choice. My love is a commitment. My love is rooted in my love for Christ, my love is a covenant. My love for my husband is an act of obedience to my faith, a proclamation and testimony to my Savior who loves me unconditionally. I love, because God first loved me. And that love, that I receive from God flows as an out pour onto my family, even in times when my husband may or may not "deserve" my love.
I will admit, my husband has never been unfaithful to me in the sin of adultery, nor has he ever been physically abusive. And it is these two instances (and probably these two alone,) that I feel excuses one from a marriage, these two are legitimate reasons to consider divorce. Notice, I said consider because I still believe that nothing is outside the healing capabilities of Christ our Lord, and have seen testimony of marriages surviving both of the aforementioned. But outside of these two examples, he have certainly built a testimony of survival in our marriage. We have experienced debt, struggled to feed ourselves, miscarried our first child, lasted through 8 years of alcoholism, survived 2 suicide attempts, extreme cases of emotional abuse, heck, I take it back, I admit to physically abusing my husband including the time I round house kicked him to the head, we have survived drug abuse, had an elderly parent live with us, had other family and friends live with us, neglect, work-aholicism, depression, being laid off from a job, and most recently a physical handicap/disability of dis-membership. In fact, in celebrating our 10 year anniversary, we almost laugh at how much we have overcome....together...through the saving grace of God. We know that our marriage is a testimony, and so when I say that love is an action and not a choice, I speak from the knowledge and wisdom of experience.
I simply state my testimony to ensure my case. I am not anti-gay marriage because before the church body can make such a claim, we must first re-examine what marriage is. God says that Marriage is between a man and woman. Yes, I know, you know. But there is more to it than just that and we cannot stake our religious claims on the partiality of truth. Marriage, a christian marriage is between one man and one woman. So that right there limits us to a monogamous relationship. Nowhere in the Bible does this include a Government's role, government, non-christian government, can redefine marriage anyway they choose I suppose. So before we get into a Government bashing claim, let's refocus our attention to the Other Christian descriptions of marriage as found in the Bible:
Genesis 2:22-24
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
In other words, your family is now your spouse, and they should now come before your birth family.
Proverbs 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
In other words: In other words-don't take each other for granted and continue to look for ways to keep the spark, the flame alive. And yes, have sex with your spouse, because sexual intimacy is very important.
Proverbs 20:6-7
Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.
Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Proverbs 31:10
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Women, do not slander your husbands. Be a willing helper, be his companion, his partner. Stick by him. Rise to the occasion.
Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Wives submit... not submit as the harshness of the word insinuates. This is not an anti-feminist statement! Because, check out the second part. HUSBAND LOVE YOUR WIVES as CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH. That is heavy...and clear....Christ is not abusive, Christ is gracious, just, compassionate, self sacrificing...
1 Corinthians 7:1-16
"...(vs.14) If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband."
Pretty clear cut-STICK IT OUT!
There are more, of course. But the act of marriage is something so sacred that it should not be given frivolous thought, but prayerful consideration. Marriage is not something that should be based on fleeting feelings, but thoughtful pray. Marriage should not be something you consider alone, but should be something discussed, advise sought, and a community of support is necessary...family blessing and support is always going to be beneficiary.
AS a church we need to really look inward before we look outward. We need to guard ourselves from the sins of this world. We need to start, by working on our marriages. Happy marriages, usually result in happy children. Happy children continue the message of hope. Broken marriages result in broken children and broken child stand lost and confused in a dying world. From there they are taught things, and seek love and acceptance from whoever wherever, all because they did not receive it at home. Because mom and dad were selfish in their sin. Because mom and dad did not follow God's design for marriage. This is a generalization, sure. There are always extreme examples and exceptions, and there are outside factors that contribute to a wayward child. But this is where we must start. We must limit those outside factors by being examples of God's love to each other, and to our children.
Most professing Atheists admit that they were raised in "Christian" homes, and admit that they were sick of the hypocritical judgments of "Christians." Many homosexuals come from "christian" homes of abuse, neglect, single parenting, etc. We start at home, we start by focusing on our marriage if we want to change the worlds view of marriage.
Tell me, how can we expect the world to take us "Christians" seriously when 1 of every 2 marriages end in divorce. That is 50%, half of all marriages get divorced, this statistics changes very little in the "Christian" realm. Heck, pastors, worship leaders and deacons have considered or have been involved in divorce. Our church leaders are in the same boat. Satan knows that by attacking our families we loose credibility. Our family is our testament, our family is the center of our faith action.
So as Christians how can we sit back and say "Gays shouldn't get married" when we are just as guilty of the marriage violations that we spout as "sacred." I will never support a friend who decides to become homosexual, I will always voice my faith as opposition. But I won't stop loving them through an outpouring of testimony. It is not my job to "judge" a non-believer, for they are held at separate standards. But believers, "Christians," you better believe the Bible gives me the authority to hold you accountable to the faith with which you proclaim. Matthew 18 gives me clear authority to call you out on your sinful actions.
AS a church, I think we need to stop pointing out the specks in non-believer's, homosexual's-specifically, eyes. And I think we need to start working on removing the planks in our own.
Stop preaching "Pro-marriage" when we so obviously profess otherwise.
Our church has taken a stand against the slander of marriage and decided we want nothing to do with it. Through the spiritual leadership of our Pastor and Board we have made it our proclamation that as a church we will no longer host legal marriages. If someone, homosexual, non christian, whoever, wants to get married in the legal sense of the word, then they are to go to the local courthouse and have that taken care of. Rather, we host "Spiritual covenant" ceremonies. Held only for believers, only for those professing Christianity, for those who know that this vow of marriage is more than a joint-income benefit. It's a covenant before the Lord, and one that hold you accountability to judgment. At first, I admit, I was adamantly against this, but now...through the 3 years of practicing, and in now having partaken in several ceremonies as such, I do see the wisdom. And in actuality, I believe by becoming anti-cultural in our statement, we may be onto something a little more biblical.
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