Wrong.
I don't think that any of these above statements are true. Despite your well meaning intention of telling a woman who is struggling with infertility that God will grant her a child, unless you have the divine gift of prophecy, is not biblical. I believe that every woman wants to think that God will grant her the request of reproduction, but the hard facts of the matter, are:
- 6.7 million women, ages 15-44, have impaired fecundity (impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term)
- That makes 10.9% Percent of all women ranging in ages 15-44!
- 1.5 million married women ages 15-44 are infertile (unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex with husband)
- That's 6% percent of married women ages 15-44
- Number of women ages 15-44 who have ever used infertility services? 7.4 million!
Source: Key Statistics from the National Survey of Family Growth (data are for 2006-2010)
According to the statistics above 10% (give or take) of the world's women struggle with fertility or lack thereof. 7.4 million women in the world have at one point sought common medical help in the "natural" practice of conception! Not all of these women are without faith and not all faith bound women experience miraculous conception. So, what's up with that GOD?!
Yes, sure, the science has reasons that cause infertility. You are welcome to read through the list of reasons as to why women cannot "scientifically" bear children by clicking the link in this sentence.
Some of these reasons, I believe, are due to the consequences of sin-based living. When we do not head the constraints outlined by God- including abusing your body, God's temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) through drug and alcohol abuse, and/or through the promiscuity of premarital sex (Gen. 2:22-24; 1 Corinthians 7:9, Hebrews 13:4) that can lead to STD's we open our selves to the consequences that directly correlate to our sinful actions. Sometimes, our parent's sinful actions can also lead to consequences to the next generation. (Exodus 20:5, Deuteronomy 5:9 and Deuteronomy 24:16; Ezekiel 18:20)
But, sin is not always the factor that impedes one's ability to reproduce. As is demonstrated in the Bible, (John 9:1-41) sometimes, women are just unable.
Some commonly referenced biblical women that come to mind include: Hannah (mother of Samuel, 1 Samuel 2), Elizabeth (Mother of Zechariah, Luke 1), Rachel (mother of Joseph, Gen. 30) and Sarah (mother of Issac, Genesis 21.) These women were GODLY, with a capital G, so much so that their conceptions were nothing short of a miracle, all of which glorified the power of God himself and contributed directly to the kingdom of God. These women all struggled with fertility, yet these women received the blessing of a child, or children, from God, in their "older" age.
So what about the women who do not receive this blessing? Does that mean that they are not loved by GOD? Absolutely not!
Hannah, Rachel, Sarah and Elizabeth are by no means, the only women who are referenced as without child in the Bible. According to one website, there are potentially 300 women who struggled with infertility in the Bible. (click the link, seriously, it is a GOOD read!)
In a time where a woman's identity was based on marriage first, and the ability to bear children second, imagine the pain and heartbreak that these women faced when they were unable to complete their "sole" purpose in life.
Today, we women have far more freedoms and choices than our female predecessors. Regardless, I sincerely believe that the Bible demonstrates that childbearing was never the planned identity that God intended us to have.
Ladies, our purpose in life is NOT to bear children, our purpose is to glorify God!
I write this special for the 3, no 4, no....7 friends, all of whom I can think of off the top of my head, who are all struggling with infertility and I want you to know that your purpose is not defined by the children you do not have.
Easy for me to say right? I have three kids. ( I don't say this to flaunt, I say this because let's be honest, you were thinking it.)
I will never pretend to understand the pain that I see in your face or hear in your voice. I can only relate on a small scale...as I remember the heartbreaking emotions that I personally endured during the miscarriage of my first child. I still catch myself mourning for the child that I will never hold in my arms nearly 6 years later, and I think of how much more you must mourn the loss of the child(ren) you have not conceived. I will never understand, I will never, I repeat, never stop praying for your miracle, because it is my sincere hope and prayer that God blesses you with the child(ren) you have conceived in your heart.
And so I write this to you in hopes to provide some encouragement:
Friend,
You are amazing! You are a Godly inspiration to all of those around you despite the pain that you conceal on a regular basis. I see the stress that you wear, I mourn with you, I ache in heart for you, I pray fervently in intercession on your behalf and will not cease. I may not have the words to say to you in person, but I prayerfully write them to you now.
You are not alone.
You need not feel shame.
Your identity is not in the amount of children that you do or do not produce.
Your identity rest in Christ, and Christ alone!
It is HE who has a Plan, a hope, and a future for you. (Jeremiah 29:11)
It is HE who holds you in the palm of his hands and knows every intricate detail, every private thought and personal desire (Psalms 139)
It is HE who strives to be your comfort, your joy, your eternal love (1 Peter 1:8-9)
Christ calls YOU his Daughter (1 John 3:2)
You are not being punished, because through Christ you are made perfect (Colossians 1:28)
He has a plan and a purpose for your life (Romans 8:28)
Trust God! (Proverbs 3:5-6)
HE desires good for your life as you cannot even fathom (Ephesians 3:20)
HE loves you. (Romans 8:35)
HE desires to comfort you in moments of weakness, pain, confusion and lack of understanding (Psalms 56:8; Psalms 91:1-16)
Your body was made perfect, in the image of Christ, not lacking anything (Ephesians 2:10)
To anyone who is reading this that does not struggle with infertility, I write this to you:
Be aware of who you are and what you say to other women. We don't always know who is or is not struggling in the area of child bearing. Encourage each other, love one another, offer support, pray with and for the sisters in your life. Be sensitive to what you say, the "advice" you offer, the pictures you post, the activities you present. View one another through God's eyes, and help every woman around you to see herself through the eyes of God also. Be a confidant, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a sound board, a hug. BE there for one another.
It is okay to continue to pray. God tells us to do so. But know, that regardless of his answer, He loves you, and you are his perfect child.
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