Yesterday was rough. Super whiney boy. At nap time he threw a huge tantrum because I wouldn't lay down with him. I went downstairs and heard thump, thump, pause, thump thump thump!! What in the world?! I went up stairs expecting to see his feet kicking the wall in protest to the nap time I was enforcing. Boy was I shocked (and pissed) to see him hurling his blanket, pillows and toys across the room. As soon as he saw me he knew he had gone to far and resumed the "I'm sorry momma hold me" routine but instead I flipped him over a gave him a good paddle across his lower half. We are NOT starting that! He wailed of course, not because he was hurt but because he really does not like it when I am mad at him. Despite his recent tantrums he truly is a good boy! I got down low I. His face, nose to nose, and spat "that is NOT okay! We do not throw our toys! Now go-to-bed!" He did.
Afterwards, I lay down in my room. I hate when I have to be mean to get my point across. I hate that this approach seems to be the only way he listens at the moment. I remember this phase with Hannah just last year. Whining and tantrums. Literally nothing drives me more mad.
And so, after discussing our son's behavior Brandon and I agreed that he is acting out because he wants my attention, and he's getting it-negative attention, but attention none the less. Not that he is excused from that intolerable behavior, but he does get the short end of the stick when it comes to mommy time...what little mommy time there is.
I work full time. 7:15-4:00. Two days a week I go to school which means mom is gone from 7:15-7:00. That leaves me the bedtime routine-rock Tabbers to sleep, then brush the older's teeth, quick tub time, story and bed (usually resulting with me laying with Zechi until he falls asleep.) Wednesdays is church day when no one gets mom because Tabby goes to the nursery and Hannah and Zechi are in the rotations with the other kids, Zechi often sneaks away from his group and begs to sit in my lap for bible story through all three rotations. When I am home I am often trying to clean the wreckage I call home from the week of neglect, he is often tripping me as he's hugging my legs, he follows me around, pushes a chair from the dining room to the kitchen to 'help' with the dishes. Every night, we wakes up, shimmies down the stairs with sleep in his eyes and snuggles me all night long, i am often too tired to realize he is there until the following morning. The signs are all there. He just wants me. Enter the crushing weight of that realization.
And so, when Zechi woke up from his nap, I pulled him into my lap...something he hardly ever gets because, well, lets face it, I'm rarely sitting and when I do it's a fight from the three for my lap space which Tabbers almost always wins: 
While holding him I asked him this question "do you need mommy time?" Without hesitation he responded affirmatively. And so I promised him that he and I would go on a date, just Zechi and mommy. "No Hannah?" No Hannah. He jumped up and threw his arms around my neck and whispered "I wove you momma"
All night he asked me about our date. What's a date? "Whatever you want to do" I responded. Hmmmmm, he pondered that and offered a proposal "Ice cream?"
"If you want."
"Buy a fire truck?"
"Probably so..."
"No Hannah?"
"No Hannah."
He'd nod his understanding, smile and go play for a while before coming back to question my sincerity once more. At bedtime he was troubled, but I assured him the order of what to come: First bed, then church, lunch, nap and then our date.
This morning we was in bed with me when I woke, as always, but as soon as I stirred he sat up and asked "date time?" No. And I went through the expected schedule of our day. At church he was clingy, but mostly obedient. After church, he ate his lunch and I overheard him tell his sister that He and I were going on a date and not her. She cried of course at the thought of being left out and whined in my direction "I want to go on a date with you guys, what's a date?" I smirked and responded "not this time, maybe next time. Today is Zechi's date with mommy." She pouted of course, but in my heart I know she gets more than enough one on one time with me, being the oldest and l. Whenever Zechi goes somewhere with me he almost always shares that time with at least one of his sisters. After lunch Zechi was excited to go down for his nap.
I took a nap also while all three where down, something I rarely do. Brandon had the intention to take care of the kids that afternoon to allow me to sleep a little longer, but as he explained it to me, Zechi had no intention to wait another min. He came in my room, opened the door and proclaimed:"I have a plan, you wake up and we go." Yes sir! I asked him for 10 mins, he gave me four before he came in with my car key and announced that he was driving.
I told him I was ready but instead of handing over the key, he stuffed it in his pocket "I got it mom." I smiled and followed him out the door. Brandon yelled after him to take care of me
"Don't worry mom, I'll take care of you." And he opened the car door for me just as he and his dad worked out ahead of time.
Once in the car, I asked him
"Where to buzz?"
"Mmmm, store."
"What store?"
"Toy store."
"You got it dude."
And so he and I went to spend the afternoon at Toy's are us. After about 5 mins in the car he asked where the store was because he "couldn't see it" I couldn't but simple as I assured him we would be there soon. I asked him to let me know once he saw the "Big Blue store." He did, and was practically jumping out of his seat with excitement. From that point on I narrated my thinking aloud for him "ok, we are here, now to find a place to park." He was happy to unbuckle, jump into the front seat and help me look before I could protest. Once we parked and got out of car, he asked if he could hold my hand "of course."
Once we entered toy heaven, the true fun began. We played and played some more. Spending time in the power car section, Zechi pretending to drive around, a stuffed ninja turtle as his passenger from car to car to car. Then we moved over to the bike section where I let him ride the Disney Cars bike around the aisles. After 20 min of bike riding we went through the pathetic pirate Jake section where I was hoping to buy him something (my son LOVES pirate Jake) but everything was over priced and he didn't ask, so we moved into the dinosaur aisle where he and I played on the store's floor for sometime roar!
After this we perished through balls, guns, power rangers, cars, and then....he saw it. After an hour and one half playing in a toy store asking for Nothing, my son saw something he coveted: an umbrella. Not just any umbrella, a teenage mutant ninja turtle umbrella! He grabbed it, hugged it, opened it, closed it and glanced my way..."I have it mommy?"
A smile slipped past my lips. I would have gotten him just about anything and my son asks for a $9 umbrella. "Yes, of course." At this good news he jumps up and down, hugs me and says "ok mom let's go."
Lets go? He's done. He came, he saw, he played, lets go. I gave him the $20 I brought and let him pay for his prize. He and I returned to the parking lot, hand in hand when I asked him if he wanted to go to dinner with me. He nodded emphatically.
I took him to DelTaco and let him play in the play structure while I ordered. He had a blast as he had the structure all to himself. He listened when I called him down, are his food, built me a playdo dinosaur from his kids meal prize and played some more. After noticing we had been gone for over 3 hours now I told him it was time to go home. He was fine with that after we agreed to "four more min." On the way home we picked up some ice cream to share with our family.
It was a lovely time spent doing nothing but enjoying my son. He needed it, but turns out, so did I. If love to say that he went to bed that night without a fight, but that would be to much to ask. He is 3, but I was able to tuck him in guilt free.
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