Last night Brandon took our family to Oakland Zoo for their Zoolights. So much fun! The kids had a blast gazing at all the lights,and running around through the dark. We went through the bug house and reptile house, saw the big tortoises hibernating in the warm tanks, watched the light show in the meadow and rode the outback train where the kids saw real alligators, kangaroos and ostrich. But I have to tell you, I will be 29 in T-minus 15 days and feeling every bit pregnant with my third and (fingers crossed) final child, and I am reaching some physical limits here. After toting one child or another around the zoo I finally had to look at Brandon with apologetic eyes as I could not carry one more body if I tried leaving him with double duty. My back was killing me-dumb dumb move to leave the stroller at home (not that they would have stayed in it had we brought it.) But honestly, any mom knows that they weight lifting rule limiting you to less than 20 lbs is impossible to follow, I lift 60+lbs daily-called Zech and Hannah. But lifting, setting down, shoulder rides and backpacking them took its tole on my body yesterday, and I think I really might have hurt myself. Baby G or T (whatever gender he/she determines will decide) was moving and a kicking all night long so I know that one's okay, but my leg was numb all night long. Even today I walked with a limp at church and now have to hang out in bed.
I have to hand it to this little one inside, this has been the most difficult pregnancy I have had yet. Sure, I put on a brave face with the rhetoric "how ya feeling" question. But would you like the truth? I mean who wants to hear that I have had one infection or another since conception, I throw up probably 5 times a day, and when I am not throwing up I have heart burn so bad that I wish I would throw up? I am so tired and moody that I am just so grateful Brandon puts up with me. Working full time doesn't help, let me tell you. I keep mints in my pocket so I can sneak to the bathroom, rinse and refresh in between class rotations. I hide in my classroom at lunch so I can consume peace and quiet, and deter the nausea of the lunchroom smells. I have a difficult time eating despite everyone telling me I need to eat more and have put on less weight this go around than the two previous. I hide my struggling from just about everyone to avoid those sympathetic eyes, only Brandon really knows how much I am struggling. My boss thinks I am amazing strong, no choice really, I mean I am the newbie and I DO want a job next year! I ache, oh how I ache, I can't sleep at night between Hannah and Zech's restlessness and don;t have the energy to put them back in their own bed so I have resorted to sleeping on the couch at times. And now my hips feel like they are out of socket! AGH, but if you ask how I am filling be sure that I will smile and say "fine."
I know this will pass, and trust me, I am not complaining. I know that I am blessed with easy pregnancies, I have heard many a friends' horror stories. If this is my worst, then thank you Jesus. I cross my fingers and pray for a smooth delivery much like my other two as back labor terrifies me beyond all measure. I am ready at a full 5 1/2 months, but know from experience it is just going to get better with the next few months to come. Until then, I hope i can keep making fun memories with my family like we did last night at Zoolights, I pray Brandon continues to be my hero when it comes to support, and I do honestly look forward to be a mommy of three...
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